Fieldwork (1973-2007)
“Study the mongoose.”
Good advice but Lariam
would make me crazy.
My letters left you wanting
a student closer to home.
I consciously deceived you.
Wanting your brain
in exchange for rote deference
I cynically offered space, conversation,
food, mattress
and more.
Aware only of your young face
reflected by sclerites
three weeks of research
left you restless
for distraction and play.
Your insects were no competition
for another species of fly
leading you
like one of her stallions
to playa and San José.
No hay problema.
By the time you trotted away
I had learned to classify Centris.
Immobilizing
collating morphometrics
each centimeter
another mammal datum
changing primatology.
Because you taught me
Pteridium's mysteries
I sought invasives
on Guanacaste hillsides
toxic to cattle and soil.
Entomacrodus
cupped in petrified coral
swimmer or walker.
Transported by waves
flushed onto craggy fossils
iterated risks.
Twice, I almost died
when ocean waters sucked me
into dark spaces
far from thyropteran bugs
and alouattine green leaves.
Who might have guessed it?
Ignorant boys in Texas
silenced your trained words
and ritual endeavors
to decode frogs' mysteries.
According to him
you were close to suicide.
Your dama demanded divorce.
He wanted me to fix you
but one favor did no good.
Your innocent son
trying to make sense of you
drawn to Anhinga
peering through binoculars
edges distant and unclear.
Over time, what co-evolves
between parent and young?
Every plant and animal
is proud to call you “Father”.
Your cocky lecture
ambitious and sarcastic
status more than rank.
Distinct simians
both habituated types
viewed with a master.
Her trained observations
refined our own practices
but you played expert.
Were you expectant
seeking strong validation
never forthcoming?
Icy rejection by your peers
a piercing enlightenment
like stepping on toxic black palms.
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