Ailuropoda's Path (Poem by Clara B. Jones)

Ailuropoda's Path

My mom flew to China to buy a panda that matched her new rug

But customs said the bears are endangered and don't like American bamboo.

Mom knew that Asians like crab cakes

So she bribed the agent with Red Lobster® coupons

And boarded a flight from Gansu to Portland

Where she locked her pet in our garage

And went to see a botanist at the community college
To buy a week's worth of Asian bamboo

But it cost too much

So Dr. Wang told mom that pandas like gelato 

Especially peppermint flavor

And mom said Great, there's a freezer in the garage

and Trader Joe's® sells gelato

but probably not peppermint.

Dr. Wang said the bears like rum raisin as much as peppermint

But alcoholic gelato is only sold on holidays.

Mom mixed peppermint patties with heavy cream

And Dr. Wang suggested using Italian parsley as garnish

But before mom went home to make the bear's meal

Dr. Wang told her giant panda's know the path to enlightenment

But don't choose to follow it.